So I was asked this question during a strategy session with a client: What do you do when self-care doesn't work? This was a great question that lead to an even deeper discussion that I wanted to address here in this blog post. Below is a summary of both her personal realization and my story because believe it or not I've been exactly where she is today. Below is my answer to: What to do when Self-care doesn't work?
If you've done everything that you can:
you're consistently practicing self-care
getting enough sleep at night
drinking enough water
exercising
eating plenty of vegetables
watching your stress level
getting positive support
saying your affirmations
reading your word
focusing on your vision
thinking happy thoughts
a part of a local church community
going on vacations
doing a hobby and expressing your creativity
even laughing and going on date nights
If life seems really good but still despite all that something is still missing. You are still lacking the energy and excitement so you think "self-care is not working".
So this is the last thing that I asked her to consider:
What are you spending the most amount of time doing?
For her it was that she worked 10 hour days including the commute.
Then I dove deeper:
Are you doing work that you love? Do you feel on purpose?
The truth of the matter is I don't care how much self-care you do:
the spa treatments
getting your nails done
hair done
makeup flawless
These are just band aids to the root problem. If you're doing work that is unfulfilling it will suck the life out of you.
I know because I was in that same situation before breaking free. I had mastered self-care, and on the surface my life seemed pretty good:
I had a beautiful home
a management career
salary position
no debt
3 months emergency savings
paid off car
two kids
a dog
intimate partner
good friends
church community
a passion project outside of work
family vacations
personal development
I knew to say affirmations
I had even recovered from chronic illness so to say I was a grateful and blessed woman is to say the least.
But even with all these accomplishments on the outside there was one thing that was missing and it pulled at my soul on the inside. I hadn't fully stepped into my purpose. I was stuck in fear because I knew I did not want to follow the status quo of working the 8 to 5 job I was in. Instead of trusting God and doing what I truly wanted as an author, speaker, coach (what I'm doing now) for me that leap of faith meant entrepreneurship, but I was afraid.
So it didn't matter to me how much self-care I did if I was out of alignment with my Divine Purpose.
The truth is:
Self-care does work and even though it is an important part of the puzzle it can never replace loving yourself enough to also love your life. I believe happiness starts from the inside out, not the other way around. And if you're spending the majority of your waking time settling because of fear of uncertainty, you're unwilling to take the leap. Lack of self-care is not the problem, but staying stuck is.
So the true question became is your good keeping you from your great? Do you have the courage to do what you truly want?
So after we finished her Be W.E.L.L Breakthrough Strategy Session it became clear to her that she had mastered doing everything she knew how to do but for her next level she would have to trust God and that was outside of her comfort zone and would require faith. She was able to admit she was playing small and refusing to do what she loved and risk being authentic.
I recommended to her my Faith For Today Book which gives you the steps to overcome fear so that you can truly go for the vision and purpose that God has placed in you. And the secret is she would need to build up her faith muscle to move despite the discomfort.
If you've read to the bottom of this blog post and you can identify with trying to do everything right but still feeling like something's missing then maybe it's not being aligned to your purpose. I want to encourage you to choose faith today and for my next book in the Giving Inspiration For Today Series I'm releasing a book called Purpose For Today If you would like a tool that answers some of the most common questions about purpose including: How to know if I'm doing what God wants and gives you 101 Ways to Contribute to this World then I invite you to Pre-Order a copy of Purpose For Today so you can be shipped this book when it is available.
Thanks for reading!
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If you need more tools to practice faith to overcome fear grab my newest book, Faith For Today: Bring Faith Over Fear into Your Life With 4 Simple Steps
Live Well, Love Well, Be Well
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