In life we go through ups and downs; sickness, unexpected life circumstances, but I think the hardest of these is heartbreak. It can be especially hard during the Valentine's Day holiday when images of couples are heavily promoted and all you can think of is love lost. But there is good news, everyday can be a season of love when it comes to self-love so in this blog I'm sharing my eight steps towards self-love after a heartbreak.
Step 1: Take a Step Back & Evaluate
A time of heartbreak can become an opportunity to transition and evaluate what is going on. Ask yourself was this something created out of fear, was it a mutual agreement, or did you just out grow the relationship? It can be hard to look at the part you played in the break up but it can lead to better awareness to increase your self-love journey. Once you evaluate it's time to move forward.
Step 2: Admit it Sucks!
Never suppress your feelings during heartbreak. It's tough and if you face it you are more likely to conquer your emotions instead of being in denial. Suppressing your emotions can only lead to angry outburst or worse illness in your body. So cry if you need to and let out your true feelings. Take time to grieve the loss and admit if you still have feelings for the person. It is healthy to acknowledge your feelings while choosing to love yourself first.
Step 3: Ask Yourself, What Can I Learn from this?
If God is allowing you to go through this there is a lesson in disguise. But what I know for sure is that God loves you and he will be with you through the brokenness. Asking yourself this tough question can allow you to come out of a heartbreak stronger and more wiser. Strength and wisdom are two powerful attributes you'll need for your self love journey.
Step 4: Get Support
Do not suffer in silence. It can be easy to want to isolate during a heartbreak but resist it. Stay connected and get professional help if needed to deal with your mental heath and well-being. Go to the gym, join a group hobby, call your best friend, go to church, get out the house, get hugs, and ask for what you need.
Step 5: Take Extra Care of Yourself
Give yourself extra tender loving care; rest, get take out food, take an Epsom salt bath. I mean really double up on the self-care if you take a relaxing bath once a week to relieve stress then increase it to three times a week. Give yourself more love when times are hard. You deserve 100% of your attention during this time and it will help you to find a healthy balance when learning to trust your heart to love again.
Step 6: Take Out Your Favorite's List
Do at least one thing a day from your list until you start to feel better. If you don't have a favorite's list I discuss the importance of having a favorite's list on page 94 of my book Freedom For Today: Practical Advice on How to Create a Life You Love. Here are some examples to get started;
What's your favorite..
Place to hang out with family and friends
Color to wear
This list can be endless with as many things as you would like. One of the best ways to quickly move forward after heartbreak is to enjoy your life.
Step 7: Laugh
Make the effort to intentionally have a good time. The mind does not know the difference and can easily shift from sad to happy. Put on a comedy show, or something that makes you get your laugh on. Learn to conquer heartbreak with laughter. Research shows that laughter is a key ingredient to a long and happy marriage so get into the habit of laughing now so you can attract future love from a joyous place.
Step 8: Gratitude
Pointing your thoughts toward gratitude can help you heal from a heartbreak faster.
If you are able to do any of the above then that is something to thank God about:
you can laugh,
you can evaluate,
you can admit your feelings,
you can get support,
you can take extra care of yourself,
you can create a favorites list
you can choose to practice gratitude.
It's all a choice but whatever you decide I hope you choose to Love on You!
So if you made it to the end of this blog post congrats! These are not only things you can do to deal with heartbreak but also steps you can use to love yourself.
Quick review of the 8 Steps:
2. Admit it sucks!
3. Ask yourself what can I learn?
4 Get support
5 Take extra care of yourself
6 Take out and do things on your favorite's list
Okay, remember love is always in season, especially when it comes to loving on You. Thanks for reading. Did you enjoy this blog post? Make sure to comment, share, and subscribe for weekly inspiration.
If you need more tools to feel well even when times get hard feel free to join my free Facebook group for women called Be a W.E.L.L (women everyday loving life) I would love to celebrate and support you on your self-love journey.
Live Well, Love Well, Be Well
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